Untitled
by Alyssium
Summary: Hermione has a terrible secret, one that she must tell no one. But what happens when her secret gets her pregnant?
1. Default Chapter

~Author's note~

Hi pple, this is a new story!!! I thought of this just yesterday! Rating is for a little later. Hope you like!

*Now on with the story:

** Prologue: Welcome Back to Hogwarts**

Snape sat in his office, it was still two days before the next term started, but he had come early to get his things ready. As he sat there. He looked over at the 6th year student list. He was having fun and thinking of how to torture each student when he came upon the name he most hated: Hermione Granger.

She was a know-it-all, who got A's in every class, no matter how hard the teacher was. _But not this year_, he mused, _this year I'm going to make her suffer_.

So he set out making a list off all the things that he could do to her. He knew that by now, if he lowered her grade, she wouldn't pay any attention because it was _him_ that did it.

_No, he would have to think of something to make her weak. To remind her that she was just a stupid mud-blood._

Snape's thoughts were interrupted by Dumbledor, who had entered the classroom.

"Thinking of new 'teaching methods' Severus?" he asked.

"Yeah," Snape answered. If he noticed the headmaster's humor, he chose not to show it.

"Look, I'm really busy-" started Snape.

"Yes, but at the request of a student, I need to speak with you." Dumbledor countered.

"What? Is it Longbottom, look no matter how many times I help him, he will never-"

"No, it is not Mr. Longbottom, though I daresay he needs it, no it's Miss Granger who had requested some assistance before the school year starts." If Dumbledor had heard Snape groan, he chose not to hear it.

"I will leave you two alone," Dumbledor said, as he stepped aside to reveal Hermione.

"Look, prof-"

"I don't care why you are here, just tell why you need help!" he said, his voice like ice. 

"I need help on some of the potions in this book that I was reading-" she stopped when he yanked the book out of her hands. He look at it, and had to admit that he was impressed at her reading skills. _This is a book that I hadn't read until college…_ his mind wandered as he look at the potions.

"Well, it says here that you need some wolfs bane, unicorn hair and horn-"

"It's not the ingredients, read a bit further," she told him.

He read until he came upon a paragraph of small print. It read: 

**Mix with love, hate, and power to make a life and get a shower.**

_What the hell could that mean_, he wondered.

"Well?" she asked.

"I have no clue what it means, Granger, no clue. Maybe if you would stop reading books far too advanced for you, you wouldn't have to come to me!" he exclaimed.

"Fine!" she said as she left the room, the book in her hand. 

As she left, Snape noticed that there a was a little vile of the potion on the table, where she had left it. He carefully placed it on his desk, and went back to work.

Harry and Ron boarded the Hogwarts Express together. They had both gotten letter from Hermione saying that she was already at school. _But why?_ they both wondered.

They spent the whole ride in idle chatter, and were happy when they saw Hermione as they got off.

"I missed both of you!" she shrieked, as she led them to the Great Hall.

"Herm, why were you here so early?" Ron asked.

"I'll tell you later, it really doesn't matter though," she brushed the question off.

All three sat down in their usual places and waited for all the new first years to be sorted. As Dumbledor made his remarks, Hermione could feel her stomach grumble. And when the food came, she gorged herself.

"Jeeze Granger, what are you eating for two?!" Hermione turned around to face Malfoy.

"No," she said, keeping her cool,

"But I heard you are." At this, a group of Griffindor's started into peals of laughter.

"Oh, cool, but how would you know, everyone knows that you're still a virgin!" he smirked as him and his goons walked off.

Hermione was about to jump out of her seat when Harry pulled her back. 

"It's no use," he said,

"Just let him go."

"Ok," she agreed,

"For now, but he won't get away for that one." 

Snape, who had been close enough to hear Malfoy's remarks, smiled to himself. _Well, I think I know a way I can make her life a living hell._


	2. Snape's Revenge

~Author's note~

Thanks to all my reviewers! And for a certain reviewer's info I do not need to go to school, thank you, for I am already in 4 honors classes (in high school) including Honors English! I also am getting a story of mine published! (so there! :p)

*back to the story*

**Ch1: Snape's Revenge**

Hermione walked towards the Great Hall for breakfast. Her first official day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizarding had finally begun, and Hermione was more than happy to leave her life behind and start fresh.

_No more parents, no more worrying that something would happen to Harry, and most of all, no more Krum…_

She was relieved of the last one the most. The business of everyday life would keep her from missing her ex-boyfriend. Her parents had been more than sympathetic when her word had come to a crashing halt, but she needed more than words and looks of compassion, she needed work. That was the way Hermione Granger had always functioned: _Keep busy and don't dwell on it._

As a result of this 'motto', she had experienced less dates and relationships than even Neville. But she didn't care very much at the moment, all she was concern with was feeding her growling stomach and talking with her two best friends.

Snape scanned the room, looking for Hermione. He wanted to see her face.

_A "before" picture_, he mused. 

As she entered the room, he gasped, for she was looking more beautiful than he had ever seen her. A momentary pang of regret seeped into his chest.

_Did he really want to hurt her?_ he thought, but as he looked at her, now sitting with Ron and Harry, her beauty had disappeared.

_Yes,_ he chuckled to himself as he ate the rest of his breakfast.

Hermione made it through the rest of the day, without so much as a thought towards Crum. 

_Uhg, _she groaned_, potions! _She had always hated potions. Oh, she loved the subject, but hated the teacher. 

_He had always went out of his way to make her life a living hell_, she mused as she took her seat in between Harry and Ron.

"Today we will be learning a potion that will help all you dumb asses who can't read. It is call a literacy potion."

Hermione noticed that this particular potion had been in the book she had asked him to look at.

"Professor," she asked, raising her hand,

"Wasn't this particular potion in that book-"

"10 points from Grifindor, for your smart-aleck remark, Miss Granger." Snape interrupted.

He sat back while they went to work, _She was smarter that I thought, _he mused. For he _had_ picked this particular potion out of the book she had showed him. I was one of his favorites.

After the students had finished cleaning up the messes they had made, Snape dismissed everyone.

"Except you Miss Granger," he called.

Swallowing hard, Hermione waited until everyone had left.

"No, Ron, don't wait, I'll be fine," she said as she pushed him out the door and closed it behind her.

"Now, professor, I know you wanted to talk to me, but those points that you took were way out of line!" she cried,

"You used that potion on purpose, so I would say something!" 

Snape looked at her as she took out her furry, he just waited until she was done.

"And lastly," she said, continuing her speech,

"Wait, you aren't listening to a word I'm saying are you?" 

"No, I rather think I'm not!" he smiled as he came towards her.

Hermione felt awkwardly scared for the first time in her life. _I mean, this is Snape, what would he do to me?!_

She felt her thoughts flood out of her when he reached up and grabbed her face. Then he pulled her lips to his, and she opened her mouth in response.

_What the hell was he doing? _His thoughts were clouding in his head,

_He was supposed to hurt her, not seduce her!_

And as abruptly as it began, the kiss ended.

"What the hell-" Hermione started, but her mouth was captured by his again. It was her, this time, that pulled away.

Seeing her fear, Snape yelled,

"Go! Just go!" And he watched as Hermione quickly left the room. 

As soon as she was gone, he punched the wall.

_Damn her for messing with his purpose! He was supposed to show her who was boss, but instead she had affected him like no woman had ever had! No woman except Lily… _He shook his head, _Don't even go there, _he told himself,

_Next time there would be no mistakes! She would know that **he** called the shots!_

Hermione walked towards her room, trying to calm down.

_What the hell had just happened?_ she asked herself.

_Snape had just kissed her and she had liked it!_ She tried to shake her head clear of that thought,

_I was scared and mistook it for liking. He just caught me off-guard. Next time he won't even get close!_ She told herself as she flopped down on her bed.

She didn't go to dinner that night, and she tried to get thoughts of Snape out of her head. She tried everything, sleeping, reading, listening to music, but nothing would get the potions master out of her head.

Snape sat in his chambers and thought of Hermione. But instead of allowing himself to think of that kiss that had left them both breathless, he came up with a plan for next time.

_For next time…_

__


	3. Detention

~Author's note~

Thanks to all my reviewers! As for the fucking idiots who seem to think that I haven't read the books, you need to fuck off because you are so wrong! I actually own all 5 (in hard cover) and am in LOVE with the books! As for those who think I can't spell, yes I may have spelled a character's name wrong (everyone is entitled to mistakes!), but it is because my computer is down stairs while the books are upstairs in my room. Therefore I didn't have time (being as busy as I have been with my dad's memorial service because he died on the Monday before Christmas, quite unexpectedly) to check the proper spelling. Also, bad spelling does runs in my family (no this is not a justification, but I have always been a bad speller and I love spell-check!) so if you think that I cannot spell, blame the spell-checker on my comp. I also would be more than delighted if one of you would be my beta reader. But the spelling of the words has no effect on the content of the story. Yes, it effects how you read it, but not the plot. So, if you would like to review in the future, please comment on the plot.

And for my publication, no it was not in a junior- high magazine. I entered a contest and they picked my short story ( and no, it wasn't just a random pick-and-choose) to be published in a book of short stories that gets published every year. One of my poems is also going to be published in a book of poetry and is a semi-finalist in a contest (grand prize is $1000). I know that these aren't big feats, but since I want to be a writer, it is a foot in the door. I also LOVE writing. I feel that it is a miracle that you can move people with words. And the fact that my work was good enough for other people, is one of the highest complements that I could ever hope to get.

*Now on with the story*

Ch2: Detention

Hermione walked into potions class the next day, with a look of utter contempt on her face. She was totally convinced that she would steer clear of Snape the entire day.

Snape smiled as she entered the classroom. He had every intention of spending lots of time with Hermione. He started the class off with another potion. This one different and more complicated than even Hermione had ever done.

_What the hell is he playing at?_ Her mind wandered.

As class ended, there came a cry of pure glee from the students, including Hermione, for she had done nothing wrong throughout that whole entire class period.

"Detention! All of you!" came Snape's harsh voice,

"Yes, even the Slytherins!" he yelled.

As Hermione turned to leave, she heard the potions master call,

"Miss Granger, you can serve your detention now, with me." She suppressed a groan as all the other students turned leave. She moved in front of his desk, this time prepared.

"Why the hell-" she started to say, but her mouth was covered with his. Slowly, Snape lifted her unto his desk as his lips traveled down to her neck.

"Please, no," came her cry, for she knew that she was not ready for this, not with Snape.

Snape, ignoring her cry, began to take off her robe. He gasped when he saw her soft skin glitter in the candle light of the classroom. 

His hands caressed her breasts as he scooted further onto the desk. Soon his mouth followed the suit. She let out a cry that came out as a gasp when his teeth nipped the hardened nipples.

Quickly, he took off his own shirt and, despite her attempts to break free, guided her hands across his bare chest. When his hands, on top of hers, began to move lower and lower, she tried again to break free. This time, she succeeded in knocking over a little glass vile that had carried a potion. 

Hermione assumed that the potion was just something that Snape had been working on. She had no idea that this particular vile had belonged to her only the previous summer.

Snape cursed at the broken vile, but continued with his plan. His wand quickly cleaned up the glass, but not the potion. He decided that it could wait. When he was about to plunge into her, he felt a tear trickle down her face and onto his hand.

_Shit!_ his mind screamed. As he slowly got up and began to get dressed. Hermione, stunned by this action, imitated Snape's actions.

When they were both dressed, Hermione turned on his,

"What the hell was that about? You tried to-"

"Yes, I tried to rape you. But, I-I couldn't, can't." he turned around so she would see him cry,

"Just-Just go!" he ordered. He waited until she had left to start cleaning up the mess. He immediately recognized that potion as Hermione's.

**Mix with love, hate, and power to make a life and get a shower.** The words echoed in his head. He attempted to shake them off, but he soon found himself wanting to understand the meaning.

He began to research them, but to no avail. As he tried to keep his mind busy, his thoughts kept floating back to Hermione. What she had said, and what he had almost done.

_Before, I couldn't wait to rape her, to show her who is boss, but now… Now I feel disgusted with myself for even trying…_ He sighed, and soon fell asleep at his desk.

Hermione went to dinner that night, feeling very violated.

_How dare he try and take advantage of me like that! The nerve_! But while she remembered what had happened, she couldn't help but also remember what his response had been.

_It sounded like he was crying,_ her mind told her,

_But was he?_ She had no idea, but she knew that she wanted to put her mind as far from him as possible. But she couldn't help but notice that he wasn't at the head table.

"Hermione?" came Ron's voice through the food in his mouth.

"Huh?" she asked, looking quiet confused.

"We were trying to get your attention for like 5 minutes," Harry answered,

"Are you sure you are all right?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired. Look, I'm gonna go up to bed." she explained as she got up and left. When she had gone, Ron turned to Harry,

"What's eatin' her?"

"I don't know," Harry responded. They ate the rest of their meal in silence, not having any clue that their best friend was up in her room, crying until she fell asleep.


	4. Secrets Revealed

~Author's Note~

Thanks to all my reviewers! I know that my story seems kinda odd, but trust me, it will make sense. True, Snape is a good guy, but he has other motives for wanting to hurt Hermione, I just haven't told you guys yet! And no, Hermione will not take this lying down! I do believe that she is a strong character, but, if you really think about it, Snape is about 10 times stronger than her. That, plus, add the fact that she was totally shocked and overcome with attraction for someone whom (as you will find out in this chapter) she has like for years. No, she will fight back! That is what this ch is about! Information and payback!

Thanks~

Alyssium

Ch3: 

Hermione sat in Potions class, wondering what kind of crap Snape would try to do to her today. Her face fixed with concentration as she stared at the potion she was making. She had decided, over the weekend, that she was not going to just let Snape push her around. 

_True, he had cried, but he tried to rape me!_ The only reason that she had not gone to Dumbledore was that she believed she could deal with Snape all by herself.

Snape had made them all do a really complicated potion again. At first, he was happy about confusing the students, but now he fully regretted it_. And Hermione wasn't helping any,_ he noted. She hadn't answered a question all day, in fact, she had kept her mouth purposely shut. Snape had also noticed that she had "accidentally" stepped on his foot, and spilt the potion (which was for making warts) all over his hand. And, to his embarrassment, it had taken him twenty minutes to get it off.

It didn't seem to matter to Hermione that he kept on taking points from Grifindor, she wouldn't let him live this down. And while all the students thought she was being defiant, only Snape and Hermione knew the truth. 

Snape, after getting splashed with the wart potion five more times, a couple in uncomfortable places, he saw red.

"Hermione Granger! Detention for 2 weeks for being fuckin' clumsy!" At this, the rest of the class went into a hushed tone, but Hermione just smiled. Her plan was working, so she said nothing. 

Snape, who had been expecting a response from her, became ever more flustered. He was so upset that he let the whole class out five minutes early. As all the rest of the students left, a large cheer arose for their savior.

After class, Snape began to clean up the rest of the mess that the students had left behind. His teeth were clenched as he came across the mess that Longbottom had not managed to clean up.

_Lousy fuckin' students!_ his mind screamed. His thoughts were interrupted by a female voice coming from behind him.

"Uhhum Professor?!" came Hermione's cold voice. Snape immediately recognized it, and prepared for the worst.

"First of all, I would like to know what he hell you were thinking when you tried to pull that stunt last weekend! It was totally out of line! Rape! I can't believe you! I should tell Dumbledore!- What are you looking at?" she yelled, and Snape noticed that an anger line can across her forehead. He absently wondered what else would make that line appear.

"You," and after a moment, he continued,

"First of all, Hermione, know that I am more disgusted with myself than you are. I know what I did was wrong. I tried to convince myself that I was doing this for your own good. That you deserved to be punished for being as smart-aleck and being a 'know-it-all'. But I was wrong…"

"What?" came her voice, now startled,

"I thought you-"

"You thought I hated you, you thought I was being a cruel and insufferable bastard." Snape answered her, his voice sharp.

"Yes."

"It was just that I wanted to hurt you so bad. I'm jealous of your abilities. When I was your age, I loved potions. I dedicated myself to them and was as smart as you were, but I never had any friends. James, and Black made sure of it." he said, his jaw clenching.

"Do you think that I have a perfect life? I can't tell you the many times that I wish I were someone else!" she moved closer now, trying to comfort him. The feelings that stirred in both their stomachs caught them both off guard.

"I think I know how you feel," Snape said, caressing her hair. He suddenly realized that he liked the way it felt between his fingers. 

Hermione, now realizing that they were close, closer than she wanted them to be, pulled away.

"I-I have to go," she said as she rushed out the door.

_Damn!_ Snape cried. _Every time we get close…_ His thoughts were interrupted by a dark green Snape slithering across the floor. The snake soon transformed into a pale, thin man.

"Master…" came Snape's voice, full of reverence.

"Hello, Severus." came Voldemort's voice, full of malice,

"I assume that you followed my instructions."

"No, I-I couldn't," and when he said this, he saw murder in his master's eyes, so he explained further,

"I-I tried. I just couldn't. So, I told her that I was jealous of her. We have been getting closer…"

"Ah! So you lied to her, to get her to trust you! I always knew you were smart! But you know that I do not accept defiance." Voldemort commented as he took out his wand. First, a silencing charm was put upon Snape, then Voldemort uttered the word _Crucio_.

Voldemort soon saw Snape's face twist in pain.

"This will teach you to carry out my orders, my way! Now, I want you to get close to her, very close. Gain her full trust, then kill her! The war is not over! Potter will die! I won't kill him right away, no he's not good enough for that! I will make him suffer by killing his friends first!" and with that Snape was released and Voldemort was a snake again. Snape saw him slip through the crack in the door. 

Five minutes later, Snape was in Dumbledore's office.

"But he told me to kill her!" Snape argued,

"I can't follow that order, you know it!"

"But," came Dumbledore's calm voice,

"You must not give away our plan and your part in it! You will do as he says."

"You mean, lead her on? How can I do that?"

"Oh, I think you will find a way." Dumbledore smiled, and Snape saw that mysterious twinkle in his eyes.

_What the hell is the old man up to now?_ his mind wondered, but he pushed it out of his mind.

"Fine, I'll do it!" he yelled and stormed out of the Headmaster's office.

Dumbledore watched him leave and smiled to himself,

_He loves her and doesn't even know it! _

Hermione was in her rooms, pacing. Harry and Ron had tried to get her to come out all day, but she made the excuse for reading and homework.

_Why did it feel so good to be near him?_ she wondered, but she knew that she knew the answer already. And as she admitted it to herself, her eyes began to well up with tears,

_Because I love him! I've loved him since my third year, when he tried to save Harry, Ron, and me in the Shrieking Shack._ Now, she let the tears roll down her face and didn't bother to wipe them away when they reached her chin.

She had thought it was a silly crush, something she would get over. But now, she knew that she would love Severus Snape for the rest of her life. 


	5. Christmas Surprise

~Author's note~

Thanks to all my reviewers! I appreciate them mucho! Sorry its been so long, I had finals (mid-terms)! For anyone who knows my pain, I'm sorry 'cause I know they are HELL!

Anyways, on with the story*

**Ch4: Christmas Surprise**

Halloween soon arrived, and the students were happy for a break from their vigorous studying. Harry, Hermione, and Ron were especially happy, for Snape had pushed them extremely hard this year.

"I know this is our last year, but he could ease up!' Ron groaned as he got his last essay back. He compared his grade to Harry's, who had gotten the same thing, a D.

They both looked up to Hermione, who, surprisingly, had a smile on her face.

"What did you get?" Harry asked her, eager for the answer.

"An A," she smiled,

"I got an A!"

"Jeeze Hermione, that's the fifth one this year! What are you doing? Sleeping with him?" Ron, joked, and Hermione felt her face grow very red. Ron had no idea how close to the truth he had come.

"No," she said sharply, and both Harry and Ron looked at each other.

"Hermione we didn't mean-"

"Just forget it!" she demanded, cutting Harry off. She was in no mood to remember what had happened between them. But she had to admit that they were right. Ever since that day when she had confronted him, Snape had been extremely nice to her. She shook her head, not wanting to think about Snape anymore. She managed to push all thoughts of their encounter away from her until Christmas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snow fell on the ground and covered the school with white powdery dust. Looking out her window, Hermione gloried at the beauty of it all.

_Christmas!_ her mind screamed For, it this was the last day before their vacation, and she was looking forward to spending everyone one of those days sleeping.

She quietly got dressed and headed down stairs to meet up with Ron and Harry for breakfast. As she reached the table, Dumbledore stood up, silencing the whole hall.

"I have an announcement to make. Our top four, seventh year students will get the chance to look at different career paths this winter break. They will each be paired with one teacher, whom you will share a dorm with, and you will travel to Cambridge for a convention. This convention will have all sorts of career choices involved."

"That will be you, Herm.," Ron mumbled.

"Yeah," it probably will be," Harry agreed.

If Dumbledore heard these side comment, he chose to ignore them,

"Now the following students will need to come see me after breakfast: Hermione Granger, Terry Boot, Susan Bones, and Draco Malfoy."

"Told you," Ron said.

After breakfast, all four students made their way up towards the teacher's table.

"Now," Dumbledore addressed them,

"Your teachers: Draco, you will be paired with Professor McGonagall, Terry with Professor Sprout, Susan with Professor Flitwick, and Hermione will be paired with Professor Snape." If anyone had heard Hermione and Draco groaned they ignored it.

_How can I be paired with Snape? Of all people!_ she fumed as she packed her suitcase and headed out the door and onto the train. She had previously said good-bye to Ron, Ginny and Harry, who were going to Ron's for the holidays. She found an empty compartment, and plopped down on it. She was looking forward to a nice quiet ride.

Snape walked down the aisles, looking for a place to sit. He opened the compartment, and was surprised to see Hermione in there, sleeping. Figuring that she would not mind, he sat down opposite to her.

Hermione awoke as soon as the train pulled into the Cambridge station.

"Have I been asleep all this time?" she asked, still groggy from her nap.

"Yeah, you have," came a masculine voice from behind her. She turned around to come face to face with Severus Snape.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked.

"Crabby, crabby! For your information, I have been here this whole time!" he responded, laughing at the confused look on her face.

"You have?" she asked.

"Yes, and you are so cute when you sleep!" he smirked.

"Shut it!" she cried, as she brushed past him, and out of the compartments.

They arrived at the dormitory at the same time. Hermione looked around, then said,

"I'll take the room on the left," and she moved towards it.

"Ok, then I got the one on the right."

After settling into her room, she moved downstairs for the first of the discussions. Her love of teaching is why she came to this convention in the first place, otherwise, she wouldn't have bothered to come.

She quickly took her seat, as the discussion began. To her surprise, the first speaker was none other than Severus Snape.

"Teaching is a career not to be considered lightly, it takes hard work and dedication." as he went on with his speech, he surveyed the room. He smiled when he saw Hermione in the back row.

_Not her usual place, is it?_ he thought, but in spite of his remarks he was surprised to see her there at all.

_I had no idea that she wanted to be a teacher._

Throughout the whole week, Hermione and Snape managed to spend as little time as possible with each other. This was their plan. They would pass each other on the way to the bathroom, but other than that, no physical contact.

The last full day of the trip came, and their plan had so far succeeded. 

_One more night,_ thought Hermione, as she climbed into bed, and was soon asleep.

Snape was in his usual place by the fire, reading, when he heard the cry. It had come from Hermione's bedroom.

_She probably hit her foot on the bed, or something…_ His head told him, but then he heard the cry again.

Slowly, he walked to her door and tapped lightly on in,

"Hermione? You ok?" he asked. He heard nothing for a minute, then he heard her cry again. This time he could make out the word _help_.

_What the hell?_ His mind asked as he waved his wand to open her door. He rushed in to see her in bed, asleep. He was about to head back when he heard her voice, this time more persistent: _Help, somebody help! Ahhhh! _ Her voice shrieked!

Snape realized that she was having a nightmare, as he crossed over to her.

"Hermione, Hermione! Wake up! HERMIONE!" he yelled as he shook her awake. She shot up like a bullet.

"Ohh, ohh!" she breathed heavily.

"You had a bad dream," Snape explained.

"Oh, it was awful!" she cried, as she unexpectedly moved into his arms. Snape, unsure of what to so, just held her tight as tears ran down her face. 

She hugged him tighter when he began to run his fingers through her hair. He thought of the last time that he had done this, and what he had felt.

It was right then and there that he realized that he was in love with Hermione Granger.


	6. New Years Resolution

~Author's note~

Thanks for all ur reviews! And for those of you who are curious, I'm 15 (almost 16! Woohoo!), and I live in Cali. The city I live in is Petaluma (a small city about 30-40 min North of San Francisco, aka "P-Town"). I go to school at Casa Grande High, and I'm a sophomore. 

Oh, and no Alyssium is not an element! It is a flower, they are little and white. They are more commonly known as alyssum, but I have seen them spelt as "Alyssium", and I like that spelling better b/c the my name has an "I" in it, and the 1st four letters in Alyssium (A-L-Y-S) are the 1st four letters in my name. It's not my fav. flower, but they are pretty. My favorite flowers are white roses (just in case u wanted to know).

*neways, on with the story*

****

Ch5: New Years Resolution

Hermione and Snape boarded the train, neither of them saying a word to each other.

_If he doesn't have to talk, then neither do I. _Hermione told herself, as she found an empty compartment. To her dismay, Snape followed her and sat down on the opposite bench.

"Why are you following me?" she asked, her voice showing signs of annoyance.

"We need to talk," he responded. His voice, the seriousness in it, made her turn around. 

"About what?"

"About last night," he smiled, making her knees quiver.

_How can I expect to have a conversation with him, if he keeps making my stomach flutter? _She hated admitting this, even to herself, but she knew that it was best not to lie to oneself.

"What about last night?" she asked, trying to sound calm, but she had a horrid feeling that Snape knew what he was doing to her anyways.

"Are you really this clueless, or are you just pretending?" he asked, then continued,

"Where exactly are we?" She knew what the question meant, for she had been asking herself the same question all day. 

_Why that question? Why not any other question? _Her mind screamed.

"I don't know," she stammered, and he knew that she was just as lost as he was.

_Let's just start from the beginning,_ his mind told him.

"You know, New Years is coming?" Not knowing where he was getting at, she complied,

"Yeah, so…"

"Well, why don't we start over from there. From New Years on, we could just be friends?"

"I guess…" she let her voice trail as her mind raced.

_Just be friends! How can we just be friends when I love him?!_

"Well, then, that's settled," he replied, his voice final, while both of them silently regretted this truce. 

They said nothing for the rest of the train ride, both of them too lost in their own thoughts to carry on a conversation. When the train pulled into the station at Hogwarts, Snape felt a familiar pain on his right forearm. He immediately knew what it was.

_The Dark Mark, He's calling!_

"Uhh, I have to go," he told Hermione, as he headed towards the school's border.

"Where?" Hermione asked, curiosity seeping through her.

_Where the hell would he have to go so soon?_

"None of you damn business," he mumbled as he continued in the direction that he was going.

_So much for friendliness,_ Hermione thought as she made to follow him.

She tracked him until he reached the boarder, where he aparated. Using a tracking spell that she had read in the library's forbidden area, she traced him to a graveyard.

Swallowing, she waved her wand, and disappeared. She reappeared behind a headstone. She looked around, and found a group of men in hoods, surrounding a thin white man.

_Voldemort!_ she mused, as she moved closer to get a better look.

"Well, Snape, you decided to show up!" a death eater with a crimson black hood, smirked.

"Well, unlike you, Malfoy, I have a life!" Snape retorted.

"Enough!" Voldemort smiled,

"You tow girls can argue later, we have business to attend to. Snape, have you fucked that Granger mud blood yet?"

At the disrespect of Hermione's name, Snape cringed.

_Don't act like you care_, he told himself.

"No, but I am getting close, she has a hard time trusting, this mud blood does." 

_Hermione forgive me,_ he mused.

That was all Hermione need to hear, she aparated back to the edge of the school, tears running down her face.

_How can he be so cold, so unfeeling?_ It was unfathomable to her that Snape had not felt even an ounce of what she had felt between them.

She wiped away the tears and headed back towards the school,

__

If he wants to be friends, then we'll be friends, she told herself,

_He will never get his hands on me again!_

Snape returned to his room, after a long meeting with Voldemort. As soon as he plopped down on his bed, he swung his fist. It made contact with the wall, with an unnatural, sickening thud.

_How the hell am I supposed to be so cold, and unfeeling when I love her?!_ He had no idea how to carry out the instructions given to him, but he knew that he had to,

_It's for the Order,_ he told himself,

_For the Order…_

During the next couple of weeks, Hermione did all the "friendliest" acts that she could think of. She said hi to him, she was nice, and most of all, there was no talk of anything too personal.

Snape knew exactly what she was doing, and it was killing him.

_Damn woman! I didn't mean for it to be like this! I just wanted to be on equal ground!_ He supposed it was his fault for using the term "friend".

_What the hell am I supposed to do now?!_ His mind screamed, for he had no clue how to apologize for something that he should want.

_I want to be friends!_ He told himself, but he knew that he was lying. He knew that he wanted to be much more than friends with her, much more.

_Now I just have to convince her that, that is what she wants as well…_


	7. Valentines Day Present

~Author's note~

Thanks to all my reviewers! As for those who think that I don't know what I am writing, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! You have no idea who I am, or what I have been through. Let me tell you that my whole life I have had to deal with drugs, alcohol, and sex. The first memory that I have of my parents is of them drunk and fighting. So to not assume that I am not speaking of something that I do not know. I write (and read) to escape my life. The stories pull me into a world that is so different from my own. I am now living with my mother's parents, but I still like to create my own world. 

*anyways, on with the story*

****

Ch6: Valentines Day Present

Hermione continued to be "friends" with Snape. She felt that the longer she remained on friendly terms with the man, the less she would feel for him. Oh, how wrong she was.

Every time Snape was close to her, or even around her, she felt her insides tremble. 

_Why the hell can't I get over him?_ She asked herself, but could pose no answer. So, she let herself ignore it as much as possible.

Snape, on the other hand, could not even fathom why Hermione would be so formal to him. But he respected her wishes, and kept his distance. He knew that he would have to get close to her to finish his "mission", but he had no clue as to how he was supposed to get close to her while she wouldn't even let him touch her.

It wasn't until one evening, close to Valentines Day, that she was forced to think about that night in the graveyard.

Hermione wandered into the Transfiguration classroom after dinner. 

_I hope professor McGonagall is here with the notes… _Her thoughts trailed off when she saw Snape and Dumbledore.

"But how can I? She won't even let me breath on her, much less be alone in a room with her!" Snape told the Headmaster, and Hermione got the impression that he was talking about her.

"You have to, Severus. Voldemort has to think that you are carrying out his orders. If you don't, he'll know something is up, he'll know that you are working for the Order." Dumbledore told him.

_The Order…_ Hermione cried. 

_He is working for the Order!_ Her head swam, and she missed the rest of the conversation. All she knew was that Snape didn't want to rape her. She saw Dumbledore leave, then made to go when a cold hand on her arm stopped her.

"How much did you hear?" Snape whispered in her ear, sending chills up her spine.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"How much did you hear?" Snape asked again , his voice like ice.

"N-nothing…" she stammered.

"Oh, come on Hermione, I know you heard something!" his hand on her arm tightened.

"I-I heard you telling Dumbledore that you-you couldn't come near me because I wouldn't let you. And he said that you had to." she cried, for his grip was hurting her. 

Noticing that he was hurting her, he let her go. 

"Is that all?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"I guess I have to explain-"

"No, don't. I understand," she answered truthfully, as she got up to leave.

"Hermione…" Snape pleaded, but she was already gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Valentines Day was there before either of them knew it. Hermione spent the whole day trying not to think about the man that haunted her every move, her every thought.

_Why can't I just get him out of my head?! _Her head screamed.

_Because this is the most romantic holiday of the year, and you love him!_ another voice told her. 

_Well, what am I gonna do?_…

Snape looked at the students with slight boredom, they were eating dinner and idly chatting with one another. All except one.

Snape noticed that while Harry and Ron where engaged in a heated discussion, Hermione just sat there, picking a the food that she didn't want to eat.

He felt the familiar feeling of longing creep into his system.

_Why should I want her so bad? Why do I love her?_ he asked himself these age old questions that he had yet to find an answer to.

_No use dwelling on it. If I want to carry out my plan, I can't think about my feelings…._

By the end of dinner, Hermione had noticed that Snape had been looking at her for a full ten minutes.

_What the hell does he want!?_ She thought as she made her way over to him.

"Hermione, we need to talk," Snape said before she could utter a word.

"Come with me." Snape led her towards the dungeons, and into his room.

"What the-" Hermione tried to say, but was interrupted by a hand over her mouth.

"Shh," he told her,

"I wanted to explain, seeing as you wouldn't let me the other night, why Dumbledore and I were talking."

"You don't-"

"I said shh. Now, first, I need to explain that for the Order-you know that I am in the Order right?" when she nodded, he continued,

"For the Order I have been working with Voldemort. Now, the Dark Lord wanted me to rape you. That is the real reason that I tried. It was a tactic to try and hurt Harry from the inside-out. I couldn't do it, for the reasons I told you previously. Now, he wants me to get close to you and kill you-"

"Severus Snape! I already know this!" and when he looked at her with a quizzical eye, she continued,

"I followed you to the graveyard, after we got back from the trip. I-I" she began, cringing under his sharp gaze,

"I was mad at you for awhile, then I heard you and Dumbledore, and I understood. You don't have to tell me anything!" she exclaimed.

Shocked by this, Snape just stood there, mouth open.

"Please, just say something…" she begged.

"Alright," he closed his mouth,

"I want you." It was Hermione's turn to gape.

"What?!"

"I want you." he said, smiling as she looked at him with wonderment.

Hermione just stood there for a minute, then a smile crept upon her face. Instead of answering his proclamation of lust, she crossed over to him and planted her lips on his.

He reacted like lightening, and parted her lips with his tongue. She opened willingly, and deepened the kiss, sending shivers up Snape's back. He pulled away, unexpended dizzy.

"Wow, that was more than I was expect-" he started, but was cut off by her mouth on his neck. 

She knew that she wanted this, and that he wanted her. It was all she needed to hear. She just let her emotions take control.

__

Her hands slid up his shirt and onto his shoulders. Pressing her body into his, she could feel his heart beat, it wasn't steady. Just as hers wasn't. 

He lowered her unto the bed, as he removed her robe. He gasped at the sight of her body.

"You know, I sometimes forget how small you really are," he told her, then crushed his mouth against hers.

Soon, his fingers were inside her, and she was gasping his name. Her hands raced over him, and she felt his groan with pleasure. 

When he dipped inside of her, her eyes remained open, locked with his, even as they danced in that primitive beat. Slow at first, then faster and faster. 

By morning, Hermione was asleep in Snape's arms.

**Mix with love, hate, and power to make a life and get a shower.**

Hermione would have laughed, if she knew what was to happen next.


	8. New Beginnings

~Author's Note~ 

Sorry that it has taken so long. School has been busy, and I got writer's block… *anyways, on with the story* 

Ch8: New Beginnings 

Hermione paced back and forth. Her heels clicking on the tile, and her black dress swishing with her hips. 

__

How am I going to tell him? Her mind wondered. She had never told anyone that she was pregnant before, and she didn't even have a clue how to DO so now. She had begun pacing again, then turned to leave, when the door opened. 

Snape had been watching her pace for about five minutes. 

S_he is gorgeous! _He mused. When she turned to leave he immediately opened the door. 

"Where are you going?" he asked. Startled that he had opened the door, she gaped at him. 

"N-no where." 

"Well let's eat then," he said as he took her hand and led her into his rooms. Hermione looked around in wonderment. She had never seen his rooms before. Instead of the usual green garb that she would expect from a Slytherin, there was an aura of sensibility. It looked more like a library than an actual room. There were leather chairs and a couch to match it around a lit fireplace, and bookshelves adorned the living room. He led her into a small room with just a sink, table and two chairs. This, she guessed, was the kitchen. 

"Bon apetit!" she smiled at him as they sat down. She noticed that there were candles on the table, and dinner was already set. They sat in silence, still holding hands, as they began their meal. Hermione felt herself drift into a feeling of peace. 

__

The atmosphere is just so comforting, I could spend the rest of my life just sitting here… 

"Going on a side trip?" he asked, and sent her a grin that made her heart melt. 

"Yeah, I was just thinking how peaceful it is here." 

"It is, isn't it?" he said,

"Let's dance." And he pulled her out of her chair. With a flick of his wrist, there was soft music flowing into the air. And before Hermione knew it, she was waltzing with him. 

"Severus, look, I have to tell you-" 

"Shh! Just dance." he commanded, and she did just that. _Might as well let him have his moment… _she thought to herself. After five minutes or so, Hermione realized that it was getting late. 

"Severus, we really need to talk." 

"Ok, let's go into the living room." She followed him, and sat down on the couch. She let herself be warmed by the fire before saying anything. Snape, well accustomed to the ways of women, seeing as he had two sisters, just sat there, waiting for her to make her move. 

"Do you remember what happened the day you-umm- tried to rape me?" she asked, slightly blushing. Snape, cursing himself, replied: "Yeah, what about it?" 

"Well, remember how that potion fell on us?" she stopped, waiting for him to answer, but when He didn't she continued,

"Well, I think that I have figured out the potion…" 

"Well, what is it?" he asked, surprised that he was anticipating her answer.

"It said: **Mix love, hate, and power to make a life and get a shower. **Well, when you tried to rape me-when the potion fell into my lap- you hated me, and you wanted to be more powerful than me. And ever since then, ever since you explained to me why you couldn't I have come to realize how much I love you…" 

"Well-"

"I'm not finished. And on Valentines Day, we slept together. And I have recently discovered that I am pregnant. Hence the "make a life and get a shower." It's a baby shower." She explained. When she was done, there was complete silence for a moment.

"Well?" "I don't know what to say… I mean, you are carrying my child, and you have admitted that you love me." After another minute of silence passed then, Hermione said: 

"I think I should go," and she got up to leave, only to be stopped by Snape's hand. 

"Don't." was all he said. So she sat there, trapped by Snape's arm, while he just sat there. 

"Ok," he said after what seemed like hours, "It has finally sunk in" "What has?" 

"That I am going to be a father."

"Oh…."

"It's a scary thought, you know?" 

"Yeah, just think, I'm gonna give birth…" 

"You know Hermione, if you don't want to-" 

"Don't even say it," she told him, her voice sharp. 

"I have thought about it, and we are going to be parents." And instead of just sitting there, as Hermione would have expected, he grabbed her by the arm and planted his lips on hers. 

He tasted like long, hot, greedy nights, and temptations that she should never want, but had to have. She had told him she loved him, but he had not returned the sentiment. _So what?_ Her mind wondered, _if this is enough for him for now, then let it be enough…_

Snape felt emotions flow from her as soon as her lips touched his, but there was something else. _It was_… _understanding, _ he thought. _Yes, understanding…_ he thought, and then he could think no more. 

His hands soon became greedy, and found themselves beneath her dress. But this only tantalized him more. He wanted to feel her skin against his, moving over his… When he began to take off her dress, she broke their contact. 

"No, don't…" she cried, helplessly. 

"Why?" he asked, annoyed that his voice was rough.

"Because, I'm, I'm pregnant!" she cried, shock running through her voice. He could have laughed at her comment. _Oh how naive you are! _"Hermione, we can sleep together, even if you are pregnant. Some say that it even helps the baby come along…" 

"Oh," was all she said, but Snape could tell that she was extremely embarrassed. 

"Hermione," he said, lifting her into his arms, "I want to make long, tender love with you." She said nothing to his comment as he dropped her gently onto the bed. _His bed…_ she thought. She just lay there, feeling like liquid, as he kissed her from head to toe. Then she gently took off his clothes. And she felt him shudder when she did the same to him. _I didn't know it could be this way…_ she mused, as he dipped into her. Then it began. That slow and steady rhythm. But it did not last that way for long. Soon greed took over, and they were both lost to each other.


	9. Plans

~Sorry it has been so long! I got writer's block! Oh, and the last ch was actually ch 7 not 8~

Anyways, here is the chapter*

**Ch8: Plans**

Hermione walked into Snape's office, confused.

_Why would he call me out of class to come talk to him? He has a class as well? What could be so important?! _she wondered.

She found him in his room, sitting by the fire.

"I suppose you have a sub?" she asked.

"Yes, I know that you are upset I pulled you out of Muggle Studies, but this cannot wait." he told her, his head faced towards the fire.

They stood in silence for a minute, then impatient as ever, Hermione asked,

"Well, then what is it?!"

"Come, sit," was all he said, and she complied. _After all these past few days have been difficult for us both. No, not difficult, they've been hell. _She mused.

When she was seated, he finally looked at her.

"How have you been feeling?" he asked. She knew this wasn't because he cared about her, it was because she was carrying his baby.

"I'm fine, actually. No symptoms yet." she smiled, trying to keep the conversation light.

"That's good." he commented. They continued their small talk for a while, and Hermione thought she was going to burst. When she thought she could take it no more, Snape finally said,

"I asked you here to make a proposition."

"Yeah?" she asked, wondering what it could possibly be.

"I know that becoming pregnant will affect your life, and since you won't give the baby up, I have another method that may help you. I can make a potion that can speed up the pregnancy, you will only be pregnant for four months.' he said, fearful of her response.

Hermione considered it a moment, then decided to ask,

"What are the side affects?" Snape was surprised by her sudden interest and responded,

"You would get bigger very quick and you would get many symptoms, such as morning sickness, all at once." 

"Ok, let's do it." Hermione smiled, sending Snape into an even more state of shock.

"W-what?" he asked.

"I said ok," she sighed.

"I didn't expect you to, to-"

"To say yes so fast." she finished.

"Yes, I at least expected you to consider the option before making such a rash decision." he commented.

"The decision is not rash," she argued,

"Look, think about it this way, being pregnant at school is against the rules, so I can't tell anyone. And I don't want to carry the child around for nine freakin' months! I know that people will be more likely to notice if I get fat in four months, but at least it will be over soon." 

_Well, I can't argue with that logic, _he mused, and smiled. He had not expected her to have a reasonable answer. 

_I'm always underestimating her…_

"Very well then, I will make the potion for you tonight." He told her, and went back to his book. Hermione just gaped at him.

_What? No hug or kiss goodbye! Fine! _she mused as she got up and left. As she slammed the door, Snape clenched his jaw.

_I know I hurt her, but I can't tell her how I feel… I know she said she loves me, but if I love her it would put her in danger… She's already in danger…_ he mused, _because of me…Why the hell am I always putting the people I love in danger?_

Without answering the question, he pushed the thoughts out of his head and turned his attention back to his book.

Hermione walked down the quiet hallway, towards the Gryffindor common room.

_He's an arse! Absolute bastard! _Her mind screamed. And on a sigh, she remembered that she loved him because of it. She had loved him ever since she began to go to school at Hogwarts. She laughed as she thought back to that first year. _How stupid and naïve we were! Thinking that Snape was trying to kill us all… _

She snapped back into reality when she collided with a hard substance. She looked up to see Draco Malfoy standing in front of her.

"Watch where you are going, you filthy mudblood!" he called as he made way to brush past her. But instead of letting him past, she stood where she was.

"Don't call me that!" she said, her teeth clenched,

"Or you will pay!"

"Oh will I?" he laughed.

"Yes, you will…" she threatened, not sure what had gotten a hold of her.

"Mudblood, mudblood!" he taunted. And before he could get out another sentence, Hermione's fist collided with Draco's jaw. He jumped back, crying in pain, and Hermione just stepped past him, continuing on her way to the common room.

Snape stood in his class room, muttering ingredients under his breath while he pour liquid substances into a cauldron. He was so absorbed in his work that he did not notice the small green snake come into the room. It was only when he heard the crack of someone transforming, that Snape even looked up.

"Master," he stammered in surprise.

"Severus, I assume you did what I told you to do." The statement was a fact, not a question.

"No, I- It will take some more time…" he choked.

'More time! More time! How hard can it be to kill a filthy mudblood?! You will pay for your insolence!" Voldemort cried, as he whipped out his wand.

__

"Imperio" Voldemort yelled, and Snape felt pain seer through him. Voldemort was treating him like a puppet.

Snape felt himself hurl across the room, smash into things, break glass. It wasn't until later that he realized that there was blood on his hands. At the moment the pain was too much for him to concentrate on anything else. 

The pain continued like this for ten minutes, it seemed like hours to Snape, before he was released.

"Remember the lesson, kill the girl," was all Voldemort said as he transformed back into a snake, and slithered out the door. Snape, unaware of the mess in his classroom, passed out on the floor.

"Severus, wake up!" he heard the urgent cry of the headmaster above him. It was only after being shaken did Snape fully realize what had happened. He shut his eyes as if to block the pain when he heard another voice.

"He's not dead, is he?" came Hermione's small scared voice.

"No, I'm fine." he said feebly, as he tried to stand up. He felt Dumbledore guide him up, and put him in a chair.

"Severus, what happened?" the headmaster asked, concern growing in his voice.

"Voldemort," was all Snape said.

"OK, well, let's get you to the hospital wing." And they did just that. It was only a matter of minutes before he felt himself lay down in one of the hospital wing's beds.

"What is going on?" Hermione question, not caring that he was the headmaster, only that Severus was hurt.

"He will be fine. It seems the Dark Lord decided to pay him a visit, and he didn't like what he found."

"You, mean, this has happened before?" Hermione stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Yes, but never this seriously. You see, Severus is acting as a Death Eater to help the Order-"

"I know, he told me. And I know he is supposed to kill me…"

"Yes," Dumbledore answered,

"And until Severus does, I'm afraid Voldemort won't stop hurting him."

Hermione thought on this a moment, then went to sit down next to Snape. She held his hand and watched as he drifted off into sleep.

_She loves him… _Dumbledore mused, as he watched her concern grow. After a moment or two, Hermione stood up, and crossed over to Dumbledore.

"What if I were to die?" she asked.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I think I have an idea…" she smiled, hoping that her plan would work.


	10. Death Awaits

~Author's Note~

Sorry it's been so long. But here is the long awaited chapter…

Ch9: Death Awaits

Hermione looked up at Snape, waiting for his approval. She was in Dumbledore's compartments, explaining her plan to Snape, who just stood there facing her. After another moment of silence, she asked, 

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes," Snape responded,

"I heard you, but it is quite a shock. I would never imagine that you would give up your life that willingly for mine…"

"I told you, I loved you and I meant it. I don't want to see you hurt, especially because you won't kill me…"

"I understand that, but what about your studies?"

"That is where I come in," Dumbledore said, coming down the stairs and towards the two. 

"I can give her a copy of each lesson, and have her do the homework and grade it myself. Or you could." 

"But won't she be sacrificing her life, and her friends…"

"Yes, but I can suffice. I don't want you hurt because of me." she repeated.

"And Dumbledore thinks it is a good idea, and when Voldemort is defeated I can take my place in society…" she smiled. Snape just stood there for a minute. 

__

She was actually going to pretend she was dead! For me! his mind screamed, _and she would do it with or without my approval…_

"I wish it didn't come to this, but I see that there is no choice, you have made up your mind…" Snape told her as he turned to leave. Sensing his anger, Hermione said a brief good-bye to the Headmaster, and ran off to meet him.

"Wait!" she cried as he quickened his pace.

"What!" he snapped back then, reining in his temper he smoothly continued,

"What is it now, Miss Granger?" Shocked by his coldness Hermione gapped at him.

"You bastard! How can you be so cold! I did this for you!" She cried and she felt tears start to flood from her eyes, so she turned to go. But it was too late, Snape had seen them and cursed himself for making her cry. 

"Come inside!" he cried and led her inside his apartments.

"Sit!" he barked, she obeyed and he left the room. He came back with a Kleenex and handed it to her.

"You need to be careful with those…" he muttered.

"I don't use them against men!" she stated.

"That's makes it worse…" he responded. There was silence for a few seconds, then he said,

"How can you give up your life for me? Me! Of all people! Why?" 

"Because I love you," she said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

"And that's enough?" Emotions were swirling inside of him. He wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry, but most of all he wanted to tell her how he felt. 

__

If I could even tell what I feel… I thought it was love, but there is also admiration, annoyance, and many others. If she loves me and is willing to give up her life, would I be willing to give up mine? Do I love her?

Snapping him back to reality she said,

"Yes, it has always been enough. You did not see yourself, lying there, unconscious, day after day… It took you two whole days to recover! Those two days were hell for me…" 

"I didn't realize…" he said. 

__

No he hadn't realized how hard it would be for her to see him like that. He imagined his feelings if the positions would have been reversed.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I will get to see Dumbledore at least twice a day. House elves will bring me food… It's all figured out."

"What about me. Do you want to see me?"

"Only if you want to see me…" she frowned,

"...You do want to see me?" At this, Snape laughed. 

"Oh, Hermione, you still amaze me! Of course I want to see you. Obviously, I haven't shown you…" His voice trailed off as he pressed his mouth to hers. As he kissed her, she felt all his emotions swim to the surface. Confused by the many things that they were both feeling, Snape pulled her closer. He didn't know what he was feeling, but he did know that he needed her.

His hand trailed over her breasts, and then to her stomach. He stopped dead in his tracks. 

__

The baby! How could I forget?! He pulled away so abruptly that it startled Hermione.

"What?" she asked him.

"The baby…"

"What about her?"

"How will you take care of the baby?"

"Well, I will take the potion and have her five months early, and I can take care of her needs. This way, no one will know I am pregnant…"

"Oh," Snape said, shocked. 

__

Well, she does have everything worked out… Wait did she say her? Seeing the look on his face, Hermione knew that he had understood her statement.

"Yes," she answered, 

"I had Madame Pomfrey make a potion, telling her it was for your class, and then took it in my dorm. We are having a girl." She smiled.


	11. The Plan Unfolds

A/N

Sorry it has taken so long. I just got back from England and Scotland! And as for those of you who have noticed that this story is a bit OOC. Well it is! I wrote it that way on purpose, because I wanted a little variation. I did not make it hugely OOC, but Snape has changed a bit. So, anyone of you who don't like it, DON'T READ IT!

*Well, here is the next chapter. *

****

Ch10: The Plan Unfolds

Hermione sat in Snape's office, her nerves running up and down and all over the place throughout her body. As she sat there, wondering, she silently hoped that her looks did not reflect what she was feeling.

__

Should I do this? Her mind wondered, but she already knew the answer. She had made her decision: she was going to take the potion. 

Ever since she had told Snape of her plan, she had researched all the possible side effects that this potion could have on them both. She was a little discouraged to find out that if not taken with proper care, the potion could prove very harmful to both herself and the baby. _My baby_… she mused.

She thought of all the information that she had previously researched as Snape and Dumbledore walked into the classroom. She half-watched them prepare the potion, while she thought back to all the new information. She made a mental check list that she had followed all the recommended suggestions in every book she had read on this topic. Her thoughts were interrupted by Snape,

"Are you ready?" he asked, wishing that Hermione would not have to endure such pain. For, this potion was supposed to initiate growing pains in her stomach and in the child. _His child_…

"As ready as I will ever be." Hermione told him and Snape handed her the mug. As she brought it up to her lips, she got a sudden flashback to her second year. But this potion was far more important and dangerous than a polyjuice potion could ever be.

She gulped down the potion in one try, surprised that it tasted like strawberries. 

"I added a little flavor Miss Granger," Dumbledore said with a wink, then turned to Snape,

"I trust you know what to do from here Severus. Make sure her things are packed and ready to go." And then he was gone.

Snape, who had made sure Hermione's items were pack and already on the Hogwart's train, turned to her.

"You have a half an hour, then you will leave. Your return will be in two days time."

"Are you coming with me?" she asked, not wanting to leave his side.

"McGonagal will be accompanying you. We are telling the students that you have been accepted to Salem College in London, and are going with Minerva to attend a meeting. At such time, you will ask to search around the grounds on your own, to get to know the campus. You will conveniently head off grounds, and into a forest, where Dumbledore and I will dress as Death Eaters and will bring you back to Hogwarts." Snape knew that she knew the story, as well as the rest, but he needed to make sure. 

"And you will tell the students that I have died at the hand of Voldemort. And you will tell Voldemort that you killed me yourself." She confirmed, just a little less nervous than she had previously been.

"Yes." He told her, and he got up to leave.

"Wait!" she called out. Jumping off the desk that she was sitting on, she walked towards him.

"What, Miss Granger?" he asked, him body going stiff, as she put her arm on is should her.

"Why are you so cold? Can you really not care?" she asked. Snape just stared at her.

__

How was he supposed to tell her that every inch of pain she would feel, he would feel times 100? How was he supposed to say that every minute apart was like a knife that plunged into his heart?

"You need to go." Was all he said. He knew that he was hurting her, even as he was hurting himself, but he was never good at goodbyes.

Better have her pissed at me, than have her miss me to death… he told himself.

"Fine." Came her voice, from in front of him, as she walked out of the classroom.

Hermione rode on the train in silence. 

__

How could he be so cold? That bastard!… Well two can play at that game! She mused as the train chugged on.

About half way into the trip, McGonagal , came into her compartment.

"Are you alright?" she asked, for she had noted Hermione's apparent mood.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Hermione responded curtly. Knowing a dismissal when she heard one, Minerva turned to leave, but before she did, she said,

"You know, you could talk to me about anything, I'm always here."

And that did it for Hermione, she let the threatening tears fall, and reached out for her professor. It was not long until she was confessing her love for Snape.

"I love him so much, and he is so distant!" she cried into McGonagal's shoulder.

"I know, he has always been that way. So cold and distant, so he does not have to deal with his feelings, but he will come around." Minerva said.

"I just wish I had the power to change him…" Hermione sighed

"Then you wouldn't love him." Minerva told her. This statement caused Hermione to look up.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, you fell in love with the man he is, not what you want him to be. If he changed, you may not love him…." She let her voice trail off, then said,

"But you do have power."

"What?" came Hermione's voice, just barely above a whisper.

"Well, as a muggle writer once wrote: 'When a man loves, he seeks no power, therefore he has power.' You have the power of love, and that is the greatest power of all."

"Oh," was all Hermione said, before she let herself fall asleep in McGonagal's arms.

Hermione found that the Salem College campus was huge. She had never been to a college, so naturally. She expected it to be big, but nothing like this! It was almost twice the size of Hogwarts, and with twice as many students! 

As she wandered around, Hermione wondered whether she would like to go to this college._ It sure had its highlights_… she mused. And she thought back to what Dumbledore had told the administrator when her application had been accepted.

'This is only one college; she could easily get into hundreds of others…' And she knew that Dumbledore was right. But she had applied here, and had gotten in with ease, and not that she had visited for a day what the campus was like, she knew that she liked it all the more.

As she headed towards the forest, she felt a chilling presence approach her. She knew that Snape and Dumbledore would soon be there, so she dismissed it as nothing but the wind on a cold day. She did not note, however, that there seemed to be a change in the weather ever since she had first advanced into the forest. As the air seemed to grow colder and colder, all signs of life stood still. But Hermione took no notice of this, for she was convinced that anything in the forest that could harm her would be far enough away, or that Dumbeldore would be able to protect her.

Hermione decided to wander a bit around the forest, for it was some time before she had to meet Snape and Dumbledore at the place they had previously discussed. It only took her about two minutes before she saw a patch of purple and blue wildflowers that sprung up, seemingly out of nowhere. 

As she bent down to pick one, hoping that it would look good on her hair, she felt a cold hand on her shoulder. When she turned around to face the stranger, she let out a shrilling scream. She started to run, but felt a cold hand knock her to the ground. 

There, in the bed of wildflowers, she scrambled to get away, but felt a consuming power come over her. It was not long before her eyes became heavy and she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.


	12. The Plan Is Changed

A/N: Sorry about the long overdue update…yeah, I've been lazy…Summer kinda brings that out in ya…but no more! I want to update all the time! (cheering) So, I'm gunna update more often, I promise…just plz give me reviews! Oh and small cheer to KivaidensGirl, who came back to the fan fiction world from a long sickness and bf problems… I applaud her courageousness and I want her to know that I love her!

Ch 11: The Plan is Changed

Hermione woke to find herself in a cold, damp, dark room. The only light was from the fireplace, about five feet from the bed she was on. Groaning, she sat up and looked around.

__

Where the hell am I? she asked herself, rubbing her stomach. Finding no clue of the answer to her question, she lay back down on the bed, attempting to get back to sleep. After ten minutes of tossing and turning, she realized that she was hungry. She made to get off the bed, only to find that her foot had been chained to the bed.

"Oh, very romantic…" she sighed as she laid back down and began to sing:

__

Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top,

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,

Down will come baby, cradle and all.

Hermione awoke to rough hands grabbing her shoulders.

"Get up." The figure was hooded, and his voice was disguised. Hermione blinked, then followed the order. It took her a great deal of strength not to grab her stomach, but fearing for the life of her baby, she refrained.

As the figure unlocked the chain that held her to the bed, he, she guessed that it was a male, led her to a smaller room filled with other men in black hoods. As she blinked back tears, she began to understand who her captors were: Death Eaters.

Even as she discovered this, the crowd parted and in came a tall, pale man with the appearance of a snake. Hermione knew him immediately: Voldemort.

"Well, well, who do we have here?" he asked, hatred dripping from his voice like acid.

"If it isn't Miss Granger." he laughed, and Hermione felt herself cringe.

__

I will not give in to this maniac, she told herself.

"What should we do with her?" came the voice from the Death Eater on her right. But, instead of answering, Voldemort continued to study her.

"I think we should keep her. Mr. Potter will do anything to get her back." Voldemort smiled and began to turn away from her.

At that moment, a last hooded figure came running in. He was tall, and well built.

"Master!" he called as he got down on his knees. Hermione did not have long to place the voice with a face before Voldemort confirmed her suspicion.

"Well, Severus, I thought you'd never join us. Isn't this your job?" Voldemort asked, looking back at Hermione with utter disgust.

"Yes, she is," he answered, looking directly at Hermione,

"I beg of you, let me prove my loyalty to you, and let me finish her off." Voldemort thought on this a bit before answering,

"Yes, yes, you should finish her off. Take her to the forest where she was taken and dispose of her. Take Malfoy and Crabbe with you!" At this final command, Voldemort flicked his wand and vanished.

"Let's go," Snape said before taking a hold of Hermione and apparating. It was not long before they reappeared in the forest just outside the school.

"What are we going to do?" Hermione asked, as she stood up and came face to face with none other than Albus Dumbledore.

"I don't know, child, but we shall soon see." he responded, as two other figures apparated beside Dumbledore.

"Let's get this over with," Lucius Malfoy grunted as he turned around to face Dumbledore.

"What the hell is he doing here, Severus?" Snape did not answer, however, he just pulled out his wand and shouted. No sooner than he did Lucius began to twist in pain. After a moment or two of struggle, Lucius passed out on the ground.

Snape now pointed his wand at Crabbe, who pulled out his own wand and quickly apparated.

"Well that takes care of him," Snape responded as he helped Hermione to her feet.

"Now, are you alright?" he asked, eyeing her stomach even as her hand rubbed it.

"I'm fine," she responded, looking around her.

"Where are we going?" she asked, wondering what was going to happen next.

"We are going home, back to Hogwarts." Dumbeldore answered her just before apparating.

Alone now, Hermione and Snape just stared at each other, neither of them moving.

"Is she alright?" Snape asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes. She is fine…I missed you." she told him, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I mean, when I woke up and you weren't there-"

"Don't," he interrupted her as he rushed over to hold her, kissing her forehead as her arms wrapped around him,

"Don't think about it, love, I'm here now, that's all that matters." and even as she nodded in agreement, his mouth crashed down on hers.

"I missed you too," he told her after their kiss broke.

"Good," she smiled,

"Because if you didn't I would have to kill you." As they stood there, holding onto each other, Hermione knew that she would be comfortable in this same position fifty years from now. The thought scared her.

"I have a surprise for you." Snape told her, breaking the silence, yet again.

"Oooh! What is it? I love surprises!" She laughed and he smiled at her. But her laughter turned into pure shock as Snape fell down on one knee.

"Hermione Elizabeth Granger, I love you and you are the most wonderful person I have ever met. I have admired your courage, your strength, and your beauty. I am about to share a child with you, and I have recently come to discover that I want to share my life and my name with you. So, will you marry me?"

But instead of answering, Hermione just stood there, tears flowing down her cheeks. She made no move to wipe them away, though, she just stood there, staring at Snape.

"Severus Snape, I have come to love you over these years, and I enjoy spending every waking minute with you, and I am sure I will feel the same way in fifty years. Yes, I will marry you." As he heard this, Snape let out the breath he had been holding, and kissed her. As their tongues intertwined, Hermione let out a happy squeal.

"She kicked!" she cried, holding her stomach,

"Here, feel," she told him as she grabbed his hand. As Snape put his hand onto her stomach, he felt a little kick come from behind it.

"Wow, she's a strong little one, isn't she?" he asked, laughing.

"So," Hermione said, eyeing her new fiancé,

"Where is the ring?" This question caused Snape to laugh, and his voice was slight when he answered her,

" Let's go pick one out."


	13. Back to School

A/N: Sorry it had taken so long to update….School is evil…but guess what? We are doing a Halloween play in drama… and we get to write our own scripts! It's REALLY fun! Anyways…on with the story….

Chapter 12: Back to School

Hermione and Snape made their way towards the dungeons. The most critical part of their plan was about to take place. Hermione's death was to be announced, by Dumbledore, in front of the whole school. She had neither seen nor talked to any of her friends since the day before she left, and Hermione found that she was missing them terribly.

"What if it doesn't work?" she asked, knowing the answer.

"It will," Snape echoed her thoughts, squeezing her hand,

"But, if needs be, we can always kill you for real…" He turned to Hermione and smiled. She, knowing that he was only trying to help, managed a feeble smile in return, but seriously, she was shaking. She had no idea what Voldemort would think when he heard of her death, or whether he would believe Snape when he told the Dark Lord. As they reached Snape's room, Hermione entered and gasped.

"Ladies and gentlemen….may I have your attention please!' Albus Dumbledore's voice was just sober enough to have the chattering stop at a dead halt.

"I am extremely sorrowful to announce the death of one of your classmates." he paused, for affect as well as for himself,

"As you all know, Miss Hermione Granger went to the campus of one of our many colleges around this area. She was to get a scholarship to go there. It is our belief that while Hermione was out searching the forest area, a group of Death Eaters stole her and murdered her. We only hope that the body will return to us soon."

As Harry heard the new, his heart cried out in sorrow. Tears welled up and began trickling down his face. His best friend was dead, _dead._ There was no way around it, and no way to deny it. He turned to Ron, who, like Harry, had tears in his eyes.

"I can't, can't-" Ron started, but could not, would not, dare say the horrendous truth: Hermione Granger was dead.

As food appeared on their plates, the students began eating in a somewhat awkward silence. Even Draco Malfoy, who's witty remarks were well known, had nothing to say about his biggest female rival. Everyone was stunned into silence, and everyone felt that they had had some sort of connection with Hermione, even if they had never laid eyes on her. After their meal had finished, Dumbledore announced,

"A memorial service will be held on Sunday, anyone who wishes to come, may."

Hermione was asleep in the bed that her and Severus were to share. Severus was watching her. _She had liked his surprise_, he mused noting the changes that he had made in his room. The new kitchen gleamed with all the splendor of a new home. He had magiked it to look totally brand new, as well as everything else in his apartment. His bed was now a double, and the fire place was certainly bigger. _Hermione's eyes had nearly fallen out of her head when she had seen_, he smiled to himself as he drifted off into sleep.

When Hermione awoke, she felt a sense of loneliness. She knew she had Severus, but it wasn't the same. No more laughing with her friends, nagging them to do their homework…_Oh Merlin!_ she mused_ their never gonna get their homework done!_ She knew that the plan was hers, yet now she really didn't want to go through with it.

Severus Snape, hearing his fiancé wake, looked towards her. When he saw the tears, he reached out and put his arms around her. "What's wrong love?" he asked, not knowing what could possibly upset her.

"I-I won't be able to see my friends!" she stammered…knowing that she sounded ridiculous.

"Well, you have me…" he started, but that only made her weep worse. He knew that Harry and Ron could never know, lest Voldemort get a hold of them, but he could not help but to feel sorry for her.

"Oh, don't worry about it," Hermione said, wiping her tears, "This was my idea in the first place, it's helping everyone, I'm being selfish…yes I am" she added when Severus began to protest,

"And you have a class to teach in tow hours!"

Shit! Severus though, _I do, don't I…_

Severus though, 

"I know, but I'll be back soon afterwards…" he told her as he moved to get into the shower.

"SHUT UT!" Professor Snape shouted at the Slytherins and Gryfindors who were entering his class room, all of them talking loudly. "This is NOT social hall, not SIT DOWN!" he had no idea hwy he was in such a bad mood, maybe it was because Hermione was miserable. All he knew was that he did not have the patience to deal with a bunch of chattering students.

"Now, if you are all done, we will be doing a forgetfulness potion today. The ingredients are listed on the board," he said pointing towards the black board and the chalk that had begun to write, " you will be expected to finish the potion by the end of class, no questions asked. NOW GET TO WORK!" Harry, glancing at Ron, saw that his best friend was in no mood to be yelled at. Red faced and spitting mad, he stood up.

"Weasley, what do you think you are doing?" Ron, however, said nothing and just walked out.

Snape, knowing the reasons for Ron's actions was forced to defend himself, "Twenty points from Gryfindor and thirty more for anyone who even thinks about following him."

With that, Harry now paired with Neville, as well as the rest of the class, began working on their potions.

When Snape was finished with his classes, he headed strait towards his rooms. He carried an arm full of homework for Hermione, and wondered how she could possibly manage to do all of it. When he returned, he found her reading by the fire.

"Your homework." he said, laying the books on the floor by her chair.

"You Mr. Weasley walked out on my class today." he stated.

"He didn't!" Hermione exclaimed, throwing her full attention to her fiancé.

"Yes, sadly I could not commend his bravery…I took twenty points from his house-"

"But that's not-" Hermione began and Snape had to smile. _That girl would never change_…

"And I added another fifty for _your_ bravery."

"Oh," was all she could say.

As Lucius made his way towards his master's chambers, he sighed. _I wonder if that Granger brat is dead…probably not_, _well the Dark Lord will take care of her…_

"Enter!" Voldemort shouted and he saw the figure of Lucius emerge.

"What news on the girl?"

"I don't know." Lucius stated, fearing his words.

"What?" came Voldemort's voice. It was a voice that could make anyone cringe, and would have grown men begging on their knees.

"Severus used force and made us leave before we could complete the task. I think he's-"

"I know very well what you are thinking Lucius. I think it's time we called in our favorite Death Eater."


End file.
